Welcome to my mini home and a glimpse into my life with 9 children. 7 of my children are 5 and under so we never have a dull moment in this "establishment". My husband and I had a totally different idea of what life for us was going to be like. When I met my future husband we had the "how many kids do you want talk". I told him I wanted 8 childrena and he said no way. We negotioated to 3 children. Little did we know that God had different and bigger plans. Sit back, relax, and enjoy my circus of a life :)

Monday, March 11, 2013

Moving on to better news...

    Shortly after the loss of our dog Bailee and our twins things started looking up. I am praising Jesus for that. My husband went shopping at our local wal*mart and ran into a caseworker we worked with years ago. Technically 7 years ago. She was one of the best casworkers we worked with. She was our son Corey's caseworker when we got him. At first Mark and the caseworker looked at each other and said to one another that they each looked familiar to one another. Keep in mind we havent seen this caseworker in 6 years. After a few seconds Mark said oh your are so and so and then she remembered Mark. They began to talk and Mark told her the story of us losing our foster son after 3 1/2 years. She said that isn't right at all. We were working with Berrien County DHS at the time. During this time Berrien County DHS was going downhill and rather quickly. It was sad. We had so many good memories from DHS and it was terrible the things that were happening.  We were licensed for 8 children and they took that away from us and told us we could only have 6. It seemed that every day they were hating us more and more. I am not trying to toot my own horn but we were told we were one of the top 3 best foster homes in the county. So we went from being great to being terrible somehow and we have no idea why. We were told we would never be able to have anymore children ever. So during the time Mark was talking with this caseworker she told Mark she left from Berrien county DHS and went to Van Buren County DHS. Not only that she was the foster care licensing specialist their not just a caseworker anymore. She began to tell Mark that she could allow us 8 children again. What awesome news. Thank you Jesus. So she began to work on reopening our license and transferring our license from Berrien County to Van Buren County. This was happening in April.
     So our home study and paperwork we sent in and we were waiting. I hate waiting. lol Now it is June and we were on vacation for 10 days. We got a call 5 days into our vacation that our home study and our license was approved and that they needed a placement for 2 girls ages 10 months and 2 yrs. They were sisters. Our license had just been approved 3 hours prior to the removal of the girls. Talk      about great timing!
     We now needed to make a decision if we should pack up and go home or stay for the rest of our vacation and pick the girls up when we got home. We couldn't imagine our girls going to a different family for 5 days and then coming to us after they had just been removed form their parents. That would be way to much for them and way to much moving around in just 5 days. So we talked with all the kids and asked then what they wanted. We didn't want to take our kids vacation away either and so we thought it would be best to ask the kids. If the majority wanted to stay we would, but if the majority wanted to pick up the girls we would do that. God is amazing because ALL the children agreed right away that should go get them. They were all very excited and couldn't wait. So we decided to leave the next morning because at this point it was getting late and the caseworker suggested to wait until the morning. Plus we were about 5-6 hours away and we wouldn't have gotten into town until at least 10:00.
     We packed up the next morning and made it into town and to the foster home where they stayed the night around 6:00. I was so excited but also feeling guilty for calling off the remainder off our vacation. The kids didn't seem to mind, but my mommy heart felt so bad. We new this was the calling on our lives and we know we need to always be prepared to to do the work of The Lord. We are so thankful we obeyed. We initially saw Abygail as the foster mom met us on the porch while holding Aby and it was instant love at first sight and has been ever sense. Zoe was inside and I couldn't wait to see her and hold her too. It was also love at first sight with Zoe. I was in love and I was super excited that God allowed us to be foster parents again.
     We still have the girls and we are still in so much love if not more than the first day they came to us. We have had so much joy with them and it is so fun having some more little ones around again.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Lots and lots to say

So many things things have happened since Nov 2011. First off we lost our foster son who we had for 3 1/2 years. Not to mention we got him from birth. This was the most difficult time of my life. It was so painful. We lost him to a non-relative grandmother (that would be a whole different post). That was Nov 4, 2011.
     So after we endured such a terrible loss we became pregnant with twins. I was so super excited. For some reason I have always wanted twins. Everything was going along very smoothly around 5 weeks. I began to bleed heavily which prompted an emergency visit to my doctor. I had a blood clot in my uterus that was situated between both babies. At this visit although there was the blood clot both babies looked fine and both heartbeats were detected. I was sent home on bed rest just to be safe. I continued to bleed which made me very nervous. So at my next ultrasound which would have been 1 week later we were delivered some bad news. We had lost one of the babies but the other twin looked very healthy. I was heartbroken and grateful at the same time. So we moved forward and had another ultrasound at 8 weeks and we were expecting good news but we were again delivered bad news and we lost the second baby. I was devastated to say the least.  So the doctors and I decided to let the babies pass naturally. So it was about 10 days later (we are in March at this point) that I began my miscarriage. It was around 1:15 a.m. when I passed the first baby.
      That evening around 7:30 our dog Bailee began to get very sick. I mentioned in my previous post what happened to her. During her surgery they found a mass on her spleen. They sent it off for testing. Unfortunately the test came back with devastating news. She has a very agreesive form of cancer that attacks organs. They said it wouls attack her heart as well and she only has about 3 months max to live. I couldn't believe it. I was devastated and I didn't want to believe. Iwas hoping she would live longer than 3 months. The vet said she would be fine one day and the next she would not eat, she would sleep alot. That day came and I was so scared. It was a Friday and she was so ill she could barely walk and she was leaning against the wall for balance. Sat came and she seemed to have more energy so i was hopeful she was fine and maybe she was just not feeling well. However deep down I knew this was it, I knew this is what the vet was talking about. Then came Sun. she didn't eat anything and she only went outside once for the bathroom. she could only take a few steps and she either fell against a wall or she laid down. It was around 5:00 we called the emergency vet (which happened to be our vet) and he said it didn't sound good at all. Her gums were snow white and the vet said she has is losing oxygen. The blood vessels in her eyes were gone. Around 6:00 on May 7 we said goodbye to our baby girl. She was my baby. My sweet sweet girl was gone. Cancer had spread like wildfire throughout her organs.
     Tomorrow I will have a more upbeat post. The Lord is awesome and he has turned our morning upside down.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Bailee

I am so very thankful that I am sitting here looking at my baby girl Baille. She is my (our dog) that we have had for 9 years. This dog and I have have been through so much together and she really is my baby.
Sunday night she started to get really sick and I started to get really worried. So we called the emergency vet that is located about 45 minutes away. I wasn't really sure what was happening with her and I really wasn't sure if we had enough time to get her to the ER vet 45 minutes away. We made it and we even had plenty of time to spare. Although I am very thankful that we got there early enough to be able to help her.
She started acting really strange. She was extending her head and neck out as far as they would go, she was foaming in her mouth and her belly was so hard. She would lay down, then get up and do this over and over. It seemed as though she was in pain and very uncomfortable. The vet said it appeared like BLOAT and told us to bring her in right away. At this point I thought she had no chance. Years ago Mark and I watched a vet show where this happened to a dog and there was no cureand the dog died. So I was fretting the whole time. Thankfully things have advanced enough that there is a surgery and most animals come out fine with no more problems.
So Mark and I decided to go ahead with the surgery. She did so well and continues to do well at home. This was a major surgery and it appears she has at least 25 staples in her abdomen. She is of course very tired and sore, but she is doing wonderful.
I am praising God for his faithfulness as we got 1 unexpected check in the mail and another check for doing a physical therapy lab. I do this lab with the kids every year, but this year the check was more than it has been and way more than i expected it to be. So God provided some extra money he knew we would need. At the vet before the surgery Mark paid the minimum amount that it would cost, but we still planned on having to pay more. Well when the vet called to tell us how she was, she told us that we over paid and the vet owed us some money back!!!!!!
I am so very grateful to God. HE always provides for our needs and sometimes even before we know we need it.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

2012

I am so excited for 2012. 2011 was an incredibly horrible year and I refuse to revisit it in this post. I know that 2012 is going to be much, much better! It has to be!

I think what I would like to do this year is try and blog more as if this were my journal. My journal where I will post random things. Things like parenting strategies that I use, how our day was, homeschooling and other things too!

I will start off with one of my parenting strategies I used last week. I have had an issue with 2 of my children leaving their dirty clothes on their floor every.single.night. Finally I had to get creative. My solution to this problem (because no other solution was working), I told my 2 children, if your dirty clothes are still on the floor when I say goodnight, you will wear those clothes tomorrow. I don't think they thought I would do that, because they still decided to throw their clothes on the floor. It took 2 days of wearing the same clothes for one child and the other child it took 3 days. I am so thankful that we didn't have to go anywhere or have any random visitors.

Some may be reading and thinking that is gross or wrong or harsh or whatever else. Well when you have a household of 8 people, things can pile up quickly. Imagine if these 2 children continued to do this every day for 7 days, that would be 14 pair of pants, 14 shirts, 28 socks, with a grand total of 56 articles of clothing, WOW!!!

Can I tell you this worked wonders for them. They now practically run downstairs and put their clothes in the dirty clothes every.single.night. I have not had one problem since.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thankfulness

This year I could sit and think of many ways that I could have tripped up and not be thankful because of situations that took place this year. I could be mad, bitter, angry, unthankful, sad, depressed. I really could be. But I am not. I AM THANKFUL. I am thankful for the many heart breaking circumstances that took place this year. You see, because of these circumstances I have drawn closer to God, closer than I have ever been.

So in May I was finally so excited to be able to say it was my turn to be pregnant. I was so, so excited. Then a few shorts weeks later we lost our baby. But I am thankful. I am thankful that I was able to carry our baby in my womb for a few shorts weeks before he/she entered into the arms of MY SAVIOR. I am thankful for that. I am thankful because after losing my baby, MY FATHER in HEAVEN carried me through one of the most difficult times of my life. I became closer to HIM. I knew I couldn't get through this without him. I could have became extremely angry at God, I could have ran fast, so super fast the other way. But then I would only be running into more darkness. Really what good was that going to do? I could have had myself a great big pity party. That wouldn't have helped either. So I drew closer to him.

A couple of months later we tried again with the help of fertility treatments in hopes to become pregnant again. Nope it didn't work. I again had a perfect opportunity to get mad, angry,bitter at God. Maybe for the first few minutes, I tried to get mad, but quickly realized that, that wasn't going to help. I am thankful for the opportunity to try for another baby. I am thankful that God held me, he held my tears and told me he would never leave me no forsake you, even in the midst of hurt and pain. I am thankful that it didn't take forever to heal my sorrow. Soon he turned my mourning into dancing! How thankful I am for MY FATHER!

Then a couple of months later was the biggest hit of all. My son, oh my precious son Urijah was taken from us in a matter of minutes. As most know he was our foster son. We had raised him for the past 3 1/2 years. I brought my son home 3 days after he was born. I love my son. Oh I love him so much. I miss him so, so, so much. After 3 1/2 years the court granted consent to a relative (who isn't legally a relative) and we had just a few short minutes to say good-bye and then he was gone. My heart was shattered. Still is. But I AM THANKFUL! I am oh so thankful for the years I had with my son. I am thankful for the joy and humor he brought to our family. The pain of losing a child cannot be put into words. The grief, the heartache, all of it just cannot be described. But I had to hold on to Jesus more than I ever had. I would not have been able to get through those first few days he was gone without my Savior. I am thankful for JESUS CHRIST and my FATHER in heaven. He was my comforter, my source to go to when the pain was to much to bare. He was/is my rock to lean on when when this world is just to much for our carnal minds to grasp, when the pain is just to much. I am thankful he is ALWAYS there even if we don't think so because things don't go the way we want. I am thankful that his path is better than the path I would choose for myself. I am thankful that I can give all my pain, sorrow, worries over to him.

Today I sit here thinking of my 7 children that are sound asleep. I am thankful for a wonderful husband. Today I have so much to be thankful for. God has blessed me so much. He has blessed me with a wonderful life. Yes it is very hard at times, but I would do it all over again for HIM.

Today I would liken you to know the Love that I feel through the Lord Jesus Christ. You see, he took all of our pain, our sorrows with him on the cross, just for us. For you and I. Right now please ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart. To dwell within you. He has promised eternal life. Eternal life in heaven will there will be no more sorrow, there will be no more pain. This life is hard, and I can tell you that I am forever thankful for my Savior. Without him, I am nothing.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Emma...

So for the past oh 6 months we have had a hard time with Emma. She has been having some extremely serious emotional breakdowns and we were getting very concerned with what to do. I was at a loss and in tears some days because I just didn't know what to do or how to help her. I felt mad, frustrated, sad and every other emotion you can think of. My poor daughter was just not doing well AT ALL.

So as her mom, I was determined to find out what was going on with my sweet girl. I prayed, as well as made several phone calls to her pediatrician and her specialists. We decided that perhaps a change of medication would be best for her. We tried a new medication that was a good medicine. We started with a very small dose. I think the mess did well and I was hoping that this was going to help her. Well she was on it for about a month when we had to make a visit to her eye doctor.

As the eye tech guy was giving her a vision test, Emma kept saying well I can't see that picture. I wasn't concerned at first until her eye doctor came in and said Emma's vision is very' very poor. A very significant increase of vision loss. I was surprised when she told me this. Then we discussed that she had a new med and perhaps this was the cause of her vision issues. The doctor left the room to go do research on this particular medicine. She returns and says that this medicine can cause blurred vision. Well Emma's vision was greatly reduced due to this medication, so I took her off if it immediately.

So then the next day, I put her back on her old medicine and she is doing wonderful! Not sure why, but I am a happy momma again! Oh wait, I know, the Lord answers prayers!!! We also started giving her naps again. I am so thankful that we homeschool, because she would not get her much needed nap.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Update...

Well I guess I have been coping fairly well lately. At times I get really down and sad about the whole situation. I'll be fine and then I'll get sad. Yes all these emotions happen quite frequently throughout the day. On Friday I had a really good day ALL day. I was very thankful for that. On Saturday and Sunday it was an up and down roller coaster of emotions. But I am able to get through well, I think. Sometimes I am just not sure what I feel, or how to even put my feelings into words.

I am having pain on and off most days. Last week Wednesday was pretty painful and throughout the night was extremely painful. I thought my body was doing what it needed to do for the baby, but nothing happened :/ Friday I had no pain at all and Saturday was good too. Yesterday the pain returned and today there hasn't been any pain. When I say pain, I really mean cramping pain. So we will see. If nothing happens one week from today, I will need to call my doctor.

I just wonder if I will be as excited if we become pregnant like I was this time or will I be more reserved. I want to be just as excited, but right now I am a little scared. I am putting my trust in the Lord and together we are working on that. Knowing me, I will probably jump in with both feet again and proclaim my pregnancy to everyone, just like I did this time. With so much support and love from family and friends, I want you to experience this journey with us, through good or bad.  I hope you all with be just as joyful next time, just as you all were this time.

I want to thank everyone for their support they showed us through this difficult time. It meant alot to us!!!  Thank you to two dear friends who brought dinner over for us. That was special. I also want to thank my best friend/cousin who offered to help us anytime we needed it, and said she would help with anything we might have needed help with. That meant so much to us. Also I want to thank my other cousin (S.K.) for her offering of help as well!!!!! You must understand each one of these mentioned ladies have large families that range from 4-9 children and they so graciously offered to help and they gave us so much support. WOW, you ladies are AWESOME and a huge blessing to our family. Thanks so much!!!!!!