Welcome to my mini home and a glimpse into my life with 9 children. 7 of my children are 5 and under so we never have a dull moment in this "establishment". My husband and I had a totally different idea of what life for us was going to be like. When I met my future husband we had the "how many kids do you want talk". I told him I wanted 8 childrena and he said no way. We negotioated to 3 children. Little did we know that God had different and bigger plans. Sit back, relax, and enjoy my circus of a life :)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Feeling better

After my last post, I am feeling much better. I am seeking the face of God more and more. I truly do not want to feel the way I do about infertility. What I have recently learned is that, children were never made to be ours and never will be ours(well I knew this, but it's more of a reality now). They are ultimately God's children and always will be. Yes he gives us a gift in the form of a child, but still they are his children. I cannot MAKE God give me gift. Never will I be able to. Just like you could never force me to give a gift to someone. It's up to me to choose to give a person a gift. Just like children, it's God's choice whether he chooses to give me a gift of a child. I cannot persuade him to give me anything. I can ask, I can always ask, but it still lays in the hand of my father and his choices for our lives. This may sound like I am making God sound awful. No, No that is not what I mean at all. My father has giving me 9 precious children. He has brought my children to me in a very special way. If I were to haven given birth, My 7 children probably would not be here with me. My goodness, I would never wish for these children to be anywhere other than with us :) You see, if I would have never began foster care, I know where I would be. I would be selfish, never would I have had to rely on my God more than I do now. I cannot in any way take care of these children without my Father's hand on my life. I wish to not even think any furthur about where my life would be if we would have gone a different direction.
     I do, I really do pray that God will bless me with a child. I hope one day we will have a biological child. But I will not partake in IVF treatments (again) as the Lord has convicted me not to do that. So I will choose to bring a frozen baby into this world to have a chance at life. I cannot wait to do this. I am very excited. I do know that it still is in God's hand whehter he chooses to keep the life of our adopted embryos growing in my womb. I pray that he will choose us to be parents of our adopted embryos. Nonetheless, if it doesn't happen, at least we brought these children out of a frozen state of being and into the arms of Jesus.
     I am still praying that God will bless us with the finances to be able to get on the waiting list by Nov. 7th. We need $1600 to do that. I know that the Lord can work it all out for us. Meanwhile, I just keep getting more and more excited, and also very impatient, hahaha. It's hard waiting, especially when you have been infertile for SO many years. It becomes a little hard to wait :)


Room for More said...

Thanks for stopping by our blog. Feel free to ask any questions you may have. I love to see large families go through this journey too! Our EA process started in April 2010 and we are scheduled for our FET in December. I look forward to following your journey too. Check my blog list and you will find many EA blogs with families in all different stages of the process.

Jess said...

I am so excited to hear that you are starting the process for EA. It really is a wonderful experience!!