Welcome to my mini home and a glimpse into my life with 9 children. 7 of my children are 5 and under so we never have a dull moment in this "establishment". My husband and I had a totally different idea of what life for us was going to be like. When I met my future husband we had the "how many kids do you want talk". I told him I wanted 8 childrena and he said no way. We negotioated to 3 children. Little did we know that God had different and bigger plans. Sit back, relax, and enjoy my circus of a life :)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Feeling better

After my last post, I am feeling much better. I am seeking the face of God more and more. I truly do not want to feel the way I do about infertility. What I have recently learned is that, children were never made to be ours and never will be ours(well I knew this, but it's more of a reality now). They are ultimately God's children and always will be. Yes he gives us a gift in the form of a child, but still they are his children. I cannot MAKE God give me gift. Never will I be able to. Just like you could never force me to give a gift to someone. It's up to me to choose to give a person a gift. Just like children, it's God's choice whether he chooses to give me a gift of a child. I cannot persuade him to give me anything. I can ask, I can always ask, but it still lays in the hand of my father and his choices for our lives. This may sound like I am making God sound awful. No, No that is not what I mean at all. My father has giving me 9 precious children. He has brought my children to me in a very special way. If I were to haven given birth, My 7 children probably would not be here with me. My goodness, I would never wish for these children to be anywhere other than with us :) You see, if I would have never began foster care, I know where I would be. I would be selfish, never would I have had to rely on my God more than I do now. I cannot in any way take care of these children without my Father's hand on my life. I wish to not even think any furthur about where my life would be if we would have gone a different direction.
     I do, I really do pray that God will bless me with a child. I hope one day we will have a biological child. But I will not partake in IVF treatments (again) as the Lord has convicted me not to do that. So I will choose to bring a frozen baby into this world to have a chance at life. I cannot wait to do this. I am very excited. I do know that it still is in God's hand whehter he chooses to keep the life of our adopted embryos growing in my womb. I pray that he will choose us to be parents of our adopted embryos. Nonetheless, if it doesn't happen, at least we brought these children out of a frozen state of being and into the arms of Jesus.
     I am still praying that God will bless us with the finances to be able to get on the waiting list by Nov. 7th. We need $1600 to do that. I know that the Lord can work it all out for us. Meanwhile, I just keep getting more and more excited, and also very impatient, hahaha. It's hard waiting, especially when you have been infertile for SO many years. It becomes a little hard to wait :)

2 comments:

Room for More said...

Thanks for stopping by our blog. Feel free to ask any questions you may have. I love to see large families go through this journey too! Our EA process started in April 2010 and we are scheduled for our FET in December. I look forward to following your journey too. Check my blog list and you will find many EA blogs with families in all different stages of the process.
Shannon
www.roomformorekiddos.com

Jess said...

I am so excited to hear that you are starting the process for EA. It really is a wonderful experience!!