Welcome to my mini home and a glimpse into my life with 9 children. 7 of my children are 5 and under so we never have a dull moment in this "establishment". My husband and I had a totally different idea of what life for us was going to be like. When I met my future husband we had the "how many kids do you want talk". I told him I wanted 8 childrena and he said no way. We negotioated to 3 children. Little did we know that God had different and bigger plans. Sit back, relax, and enjoy my circus of a life :)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Coming up

So here is the post I promised awhile ago. My apologies :) Well we had a great visit with out fertility doctor. We had an appt. with the clinics financial corrdinator and the centers counselor as well. Those appts. went well also. I was concerned they were going to laugh us out the door because of our family size (not really, but I was concerned about what they were going to say). Still, I long to be pregnant no matter how many children I  currently have. So we were told that are babies were probably in the clinic that day. That made me smile, knowing that we were in the same place as our future children. I know they may sound wierd to some, but when your facing infertility, small things like that make you smile. 
My doctor said my uterus looks great and forsees no issues with implantation, but again us fertle people know those are just words and until it happens we must be cautious, lol!!!! We were told that within a month of us providing the rest of the money for our Embryo procedure we can begin looking at profiles, YEAH!!! However, that is were there is a hiccup. We did not raise all of the money we asked for in our donation letters we sent out. That is ok. We got some very generous donations. To those that so graciously gave, we appreciate it so very much!!! We will be forever grateful for your generous gift. So now we will wait for our income tax return. We are thinking we will not get those back until like March or April. I was hoping to start looking at profiles starting in February. We also had another idea that we thought was going to give us all the money, but that didn't work out. Don't worry, I am not upset, just getting very axsious to be pregnant. I know the gift will be that much more special, and by the way I have been waiting for 8 years now, what is a few more months.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Feeling better

After my last post, I am feeling much better. I am seeking the face of God more and more. I truly do not want to feel the way I do about infertility. What I have recently learned is that, children were never made to be ours and never will be ours(well I knew this, but it's more of a reality now). They are ultimately God's children and always will be. Yes he gives us a gift in the form of a child, but still they are his children. I cannot MAKE God give me gift. Never will I be able to. Just like you could never force me to give a gift to someone. It's up to me to choose to give a person a gift. Just like children, it's God's choice whether he chooses to give me a gift of a child. I cannot persuade him to give me anything. I can ask, I can always ask, but it still lays in the hand of my father and his choices for our lives. This may sound like I am making God sound awful. No, No that is not what I mean at all. My father has giving me 9 precious children. He has brought my children to me in a very special way. If I were to haven given birth, My 7 children probably would not be here with me. My goodness, I would never wish for these children to be anywhere other than with us :) You see, if I would have never began foster care, I know where I would be. I would be selfish, never would I have had to rely on my God more than I do now. I cannot in any way take care of these children without my Father's hand on my life. I wish to not even think any furthur about where my life would be if we would have gone a different direction.
     I do, I really do pray that God will bless me with a child. I hope one day we will have a biological child. But I will not partake in IVF treatments (again) as the Lord has convicted me not to do that. So I will choose to bring a frozen baby into this world to have a chance at life. I cannot wait to do this. I am very excited. I do know that it still is in God's hand whehter he chooses to keep the life of our adopted embryos growing in my womb. I pray that he will choose us to be parents of our adopted embryos. Nonetheless, if it doesn't happen, at least we brought these children out of a frozen state of being and into the arms of Jesus.
     I am still praying that God will bless us with the finances to be able to get on the waiting list by Nov. 7th. We need $1600 to do that. I know that the Lord can work it all out for us. Meanwhile, I just keep getting more and more excited, and also very impatient, hahaha. It's hard waiting, especially when you have been infertile for SO many years. It becomes a little hard to wait :)

Monday, October 4, 2010

New Direction, Infertility

So for awhile my blog may be taking a different direction. I really want to blog about our journey through infertility. It won't all be about that, but lately I have been consumed by it. I know that there are others who are going through infertility as well, and I know the very dark feelings that haunt me and I am assuming others who are going through it also experience those very awful dark feelings too. I ask for encouragment, and prayer and if you choose to leave an opinion, I ask that you think about the position that I am in before you post an opinion. Some may not agree with my thoughts and thats o.k., but guess what, the are very real. I am not going to act as if I am just fine. No really I am not. With that being said toaday will be my first post about infertility.

You know, being infertle is agonizing to say the least. It's something that I never wish upon anyone. It is a very dark place to be in. I feel stuck, I feel jealous of those that can have a child. I experience envy at times, oh yes I do. You know the bible talks about those very things. But it's true and real. Am I proud to feel like that, absoulutly not. I don't want to feel that way. But these feelings creep up and sometimes I cannot control it. Being infertly and being a christian is also hard. No I am not going to turn my back on God (although I have wanted), but it's hard. It's funny (well not nessacarily funny, but hurtful) to me that those who have conceived and birthed children are so quick to say, pray and God will give you the desires of your heart. Seriously, do you know how many times in the past 8 yrs of trying to conceive, I have prayed, I have been on my knees begging, I have been flat on my face before Jesus asking, over and over again to bring me a child. Oh my goodness is the pain so very real. The yearning to become a mother is so overwhelming. Some might say well, you already have children. Yes I do and I love them with all my heart, but still I am infertle. My desire to have a child consumes my being on a daily basis. The pain of not having a child consumes me on a daily basis.
     What can I do about this? Just continue to do what I do everyday and confide in my Savior. There is nothing I can do, and yet the pain still stays with me as we are best friends. There is so much more to say, but that enough for now.
     I am however excited to begin our Embryo adoption journey. It seems so far away and I really don't want to wait. I am not a very patient person when it comes to this aspect of my life. The clinic we will be using for our precious embie babies is inGrand Rapids. We used this clinic when we did our IVF in Oct of 2008. The only bad part is that our clinic has a 10 month waiting list. We need to have a certain amount of money to be put on the waiting list buy November. We are praying that we can have all the money for the entire process in November so it can be paid for in advance. It is an exciting thing and I continue to pray that the Lord will bless us with a child through embryo adoption.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Embryo Adoption

I am so excited to say that my husband and I have decided to do embryo adoption. I am so excited for this as it will give us an opportunity to become pregnant and save lives of precious frozen babies. Yes these babies are already babies, not eggs, real frozen embryos. Where the sperm has fertilized the egg and then produced a baby. I just can't stand the thought of theses babies being in a frozen state of being. So that is why hubby and I feel it is important to save these precious souls. We have sent a letter to family and friends asking for donations and we are excited to say that we have received the very first donation. So very excited as we are on our way to adopting embryos.

Isaiah's caseworker stopped in yesterday and she said that he is doing wonderful. She said she hasn't seen him so interactive with his siblings and that she really liked the progress he is making. She also told us that his case will be transfered to a different worker. She really didn't know what that meant, but that it was no big deal. So I guess we will just wait and see what that means.

I really have no other information as we are just trying to enjoy the last days of summer here. It is very hot today, temps are in the mid 90's, which I love. The kids only were able to play outside for a little while this morning until it became to hot for them.Well I guess that is all, I will keep everyone updated on our embryo adoption journey.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

It's been awhile...

It sure has been awhile since I have posted. I plan on NOT waiting so long between posts. I hope to make a daily recording of anything from life to kids to well anything, I guess.

We are happy to announce that we have completed all of our adoption paper work on Nicholas who is going to become Isaiah. I am really thrilled about that. He is my baby. Well not really my baby because he is older than Adyline and Cameron (Urijah). He will be turning 3 in December. But because my little man has down syndrome he seems to stay in that baby stage a little longer. I am surely not complaining. I love it. I wish my other kids would have stayed babies longer. Kids just grow up way to fast.

I have come up with our school year schedule or rather what we are doing for school this year. I am going to be combining a little of the Charlotte Mason approach with Abeka which is a textbook approach. I think this is going to work out great. For organizing all of this, I am going to be incorporating the workbox system to hopefully keep things organized and running smoothly and efficently, or so I hope, lol!!!!

My family and I are going to be embarking on a very exciting journey. I will give further details in a few days. I promise. It is just not yet the time for it to be written in the blog. But soon, very soon. We are very excited about this upcoming journey that we feel the Lord has brought us too. I can't wait to tell all of you about it!!!!!

As I am looking at the bottom of my screen, I am realizing that it is 1:20 in the morning and my kids don't know how to sleep in, LOL. So I guess that means that I better get some shut eye before the kids come storming in my room and ready for the day. Oh how I wish I could have as much energy as they do in the morning. I don't drink coffee so I really don't have a pick me up in the morning to get me started. Does anybody have any suggestions of a pick me up drink or something other than coffee to awaken this awfully drowsy lady in the morning????

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

A sigh of relief

Today was such a fabulous. Today is going to go down on the books as one of the best days I have had. Today we have learned that our foster son Nicholas' (who will now be called Isaiah) biological parents rights were terminated. I am so excited to be able to begin the adoption process on our baby boy. Our little Isaiah has Down Syndrome and he is the sweetest little guy. I love him to pieces and he is just so perfect. Perfect in every way. I just love him so much. He has been through so much while living with his biological family. I will save that story for a later date as he is not yet adopted and I cannot give that info out yet. But he has come so far while being in our care. I give my heavenly father all the credit. We could not do this without him. I believe my little man has come so far because of our miracle working God. God answer's prayers and he has shown his love grace on my Isaiah. My heart truly goes out to his biological family. He has 6 other brother and sisters who truly love him. They were all returned to their parents a few months back. The other children were not treated or negleted in the way that Isaiah was treated. Yes, they were neglected, but I guess they did enough to get them back. But due to Isaiah needs they just didn't seem to understand everything that was involved with caring for a child with Down Syndrome nor did they want to educate themselves on the needs of a child with Down Syndrome. They had 18 months to learn, educate, participate, and show up to appointments that they just refused to go to. So in a way I am happy that he was not returned home as this would pose a very big problem for Isaiah. He would be neglected again and probably fall more behind. After I post his story while in the custody of his parents you will understand more. But believe me, I do grieve for his parents. I know they just didn't care for their child properly, but still they are human with feelings and emotions. We are not allowed for his family to have any contact with him. Sometimes they allow it, but because of the severity of the neglect we cannot. So I pray for his siblings. I pray for strength. I just could not imagine losing my brother. But it had to be done.

This is my little Isaiah (Bubby, this is what I did when I found out you are mine forever)


Next, As some may know we have been in a battle to keep custody of our foster son Cameron who has been with us from birth. The grandmother (who has been found to not be the legal grandmother) was granted visitation with Cameron as they were confident he was going to move there. But we got word today that those visitation have been suspended and now that gets a step closer in completing his adoption. I am so excited.

Cameron (who is also known as Urijah)

I do have a prayer request. We have inquired about a little girl who is 10 yrs. old and has been waiting for a forever home for a year and a half now. Our adoption worker has told us she will not recommend us to adopt her. I beleive that God can work this situation out and give this little girl to us so she can have a forever home. God is bigger than caseworkers. I pray Lord that you work through this and make a way for little Alisia to be with us. Lord her adoption worker has requested that our adoption worker send our homestudy to her so that she can check us out. Lord our worker is standing in the way for this adoption to go through. Lord we have had many complications with this worker. Lord I ask that you remove her out of the way or that Alisia's casewroker would be proactive and determined to get Alisia in our home. Lord I pray for Alisia. Lord please give her peace and please hold her in your arms as she waits and waits. Lord our arms are wide open and we really want her. Lord thank you for working on her behalf and ours. I pray Lord if this is your will that you would make this happen. Amen.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Busy, busy, busy

     This past week I have been very busy. We have had to wonderful little boys spending some time with us. They are a friends foster boys. We watch them periodically for her. They are so fun and very well behaved. My family always have a lot of fun with them. My daughter Madisyn is totally in love with the littlest one. He also adores her. Madisyn babies him alot. I am not a huge fan of babying little kids, but she really likes him alot and he can easily be reverted back to not being babyied (sp?).

     This past Saturday my parents came over for some remodeling of their "villa" as my dad calls it. We have offered them a room to live in. They graciously accepetd and I am thrilled. We have given them the living area in the basement and my dad is reverting it into a little apartment. It was used as the children's playroom, er, junk room :). The toys in that room were overflowing and it was becoming quite rediculous. I will be slimming down there toy consumption because I have found if they abdundant toys, they really din't play with ALL of them. So we are going to be sort of limiting their toy consumption. I am not saying they cannot have toys, but once it gets over the top they really don't appreciate them as much. We will be allowing educational toys, play dough, legos, lincoln logs, outdoor supplies like soccer balls, footballs, etc. Stuff that we can all do together as a family rather than just saying, "Go play in your playroom". This approach will get us more involved as a family. Don't get me wrong, we are very close as a family now, but this will bond us even closer. If we look at it this way, at christmas time if the children each get 7 toys each and we currently have 7 children that is a grand total of 49 toys. That probably would not include toys from relatives and this is not counting the multitude of toys they currently have. Now if we had 2 childrent than maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal. I also see that we are not done growing our family and I am not sure when we will be. I forsee us have many, many children. So we need to put a slight limit on all of the toys that get accumulated by our children. I am o.k. with this because I would rather spend time with my children instead of them going off into another room all of the time. So this what we did this past week and weekend.

     Here are some pictures of some of the children playing outside on a rather unusual and very pleasant spring day:
This is Arianna playing in the yard. I think she is looking at a map.

This is Owen cruisin' on his and Corey's new power wheels 4-wheeler, with Emma trying to catch him.

Emma looking out of their playhouse.

Here is Arianna looking out of the doll house

This picture is hard to see, but he has just lost his second top front tooth. Now he is missing his two front theeth. He was a little scared about it though. 

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

WOW 5 Years old today...

My little man is 5 years old today. It really has just gone by so very fast. It is just amazing how much my little guy has changed and matured over this past year. He is growing into a handsome young boy. Not that he wasn't already. But something about being five just makes me look at my kids differenlty. He is entering into a different phase of life and I am excited to see what his 5th year of life will bring him. It is awesome to celebrate this birthday with my precious blessing. So here are some pics of his special 5th birthday.
He has never watched spider man so I have no idea how he got into liking spider man so much.

Blowing out his birthday candle.

The spider man toy grandma bought him.

The motorcycle jacket grandma got him. We all loved this coat.

His new spider man bike daddy and mommy got him. He got to pick from 3 bikes and he choose the spider man one, of course :)

This is the first day we got Owen. He was 14 months old. My he really looks different.

And another one from his first day with us.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Another topic...

                                                        Pic of Cameron and hubby Mark

So I just tried to write a blog about a very special person, but the words were not forming right. So I saved it and I will finish at a later time when I can hopefully express my thoughts more clearly. So I will write on another topic today.

My day has been a litlle crazy. For that matter my week has been crazy. We have been very busy and not busy with school, ugh :( We have had alot of arrands to do this week. Hopefully we will be able to somehow make this week of school up. I am sure I can, even if we have to do Saturday and Sunday school. I do not like missing school at all.

Anyway, my little miss Emma is having a pretty rough week. She has been quite defiant. Hopefully it will pass quickly. I am hoping for a better week next week. We have had two little ones that I have been watching since this past Saturday. If the schedule changes or something changes with the family dynamics she gets a little uneasy. It's not that she dislikes the new kids it is just hard for her to adjust. Things will be back to normal next week and I think she will be better. Today was really difficult for her. Cameron went for an overnight visit with his grandmother, yesterday, (this grandmother is trying to gain custody of him now after 2 years of him being with us, ugh) and the kids are not dong well with that. They are really upset by this. We are all praying that he stays with is. So again another change has happened and she might be unhappy but unable to express how she feels in words. Change is so hard for my Emma.

We have all enjoyed the 2 little ones we have had this week. They are so adorable and they did very well. These two little ones are foster children as well. We were watching them for their foster mom who had surgery this week. One of them got sick but it was all good. She made it through and it was very brief. They are leaving in just a little bit and Cameron will be back in a couple of hours. I can't wait.

Continue to pray for our ordeal with Cameron. The DHS is not budging and they are very in favor of sending him with his grandma. We now are having to take them to court which is really unfortunate, but we feel this is the right decision for Cameron. Cameron has known no other family. We have had him since his birth. We took him home from the hospital and we are all very attached. I pray we will only have to go to court one time and the desicion will be made. It can get very expensive (which we have already spent several thousand dollars on a lawyer). But we got the best of the best when choosing our lawyer. We wanted the best. We feel very strong that Cameron should stay with us. So please keep us in your prayers. It is a very difficult process for my husbamd and myself. We are trying not to get to stressed. But honestly that is very difficult.

Well I guess I wrote on more than one topic, but hey it is all good :)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


   Today I am not feeling the greatest. I was up in the middle of the night with some nausea. It is probably due to me stressing over Cameron's adoption. I really wish it was just all over with. I was up crying a little last night just thinking about it. I know everything is in God's hands but honestly sometimes I really worry. I just can't imagine being without my Cameron.

     On another note we are having a blast in school. The kids are learning so much. They are having so much fun. I am already looking into what we are going to be doing next year. I can't wait to order my stuff for next year. We homeschool year round. One of the reasons we homeschool year round is that Emma has FAS and if you take to long of a break she will forget everything she has been taught and we would have to re-teach her. Although in the summer it won't be as intense. It will be more laid back because we really like to be outdoors during the summer. I use the A Beka curriculum. I love it. It is working for my so we feel we should stick with it if it working. No need to find something new if it is working out. Most everyone I know etiher puts their own things together or uses sort of a Chorlotte Mason approach to schooling. Although I really like these types of approaches I am not sure it would work well for me as the teacher. I am just to nervous to try it. So for now we will stick to what we have been doing.

     This eveinng I took my girls out to play in the snow. The fresh air felt wonderful. They really had a good time. They both tried to ride their bikes through the snow which was pretty funny. The just couldn't figure out why their bikes would not move. They made snow angles and we have a couple of hills in our yard so I pushed the girls down the hills. They got a thrill out of that. Unfortuantley my boys could not join myself and the girls, due to some obedience issues. Maybe tomorrow the can have a chance to make it out side. I will post the pics of the girls playing outside when I get a chance to upload to my computer.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Nicholas (Isaiah James), Adyline Elizabeth, Cameron Michael

      Today I will introduce Nicholas (whose named will be changed to Isaiah James when adopted), Adyline and Cameron. I can't say to much as these three little ones are not officailly adopted yet. We are very close to the end of our adoption with Ady. Cameorn is still in the early stages of adoption and we have not started the process with Nicholas yet.

     I will start with Nicholas. He has down syndrome and he is the sweetest little guy. He and I are so much in love with each other :) He is such an easy guy to care for and he is so laid back. He hardly cries and is just full of joy. Having him makes me want to adopt ten more down syndrome children. What joy he brings to me everyday. Our whole family just adores him. It truly is a blessing to have him in our lives. I will be honest at first I was very scared to take him. I had never really been around a child with down syndrome and I really didn't know how to care for him. But we believe that every child is a gift and I could not turn my face nor my heart away form him just because he has down syndrome. I felt this way before he came into our care. We found out we were getiing him about 4 days before he actully came home. He was in the hospital when we got the call to take him. We were able to go visit him at the hospital and I was the first person that he made eye contact with. I literally cried when I held him. He was so very precious. All of my fears seemed to disappear when I held him for the first time. What a joyful little guy.

     Now it's Adyline's turn. Adyline is a very affectionate littel girl. She is also a very fearful girl. I believe that comes from her past. However she is improving with each new day. She feels secure here with us and I htink she realizes tha she is safe so she is making tremendous progress. She is a very intelligent little girl. Very quiet in her speech, with many people not knowing she really can talk. She is very shy. Very frightened in new places or with unknown faces. However within a few minutes she calms down. Ady has Fetal Alcohol and Cerebal Palsey in her legs. Thakfully this has not interfered with her mind. We are hoping with physical therapy and time she can possible outgrow this since it is not really severe. She is such a cutie and we are so happy to have her in our family.

     Cameron...He is a super, SUPER busy guy. Into everything he can possibly get into. He gets into everything EXCEPT his toys. He is so very cute. I should have known he was going to be this way. When he was a baby, he was the most diffucult baby. He cried or should I say SCREAMED ALL the time. Did not sleep through the night until he was 6 months old. Even now he really doesn't sleep much but he does sleep through the night thank goodness :). He is such a funny guy. Very funny. He has us laughing all of the time. Even though he is busy guy he is so much fun. I have to know where he is at ALL the time. You never know what he has found or what he might be getting into. He used to scream at us if we didn't give him his food fast enough. He still tries to scream at us once in a while but I think he has figured out that he doesn't get his food until he stops screaming. LOL. We quit going to restaurants for fear that he might scream everyone out of the restaurant. But the other day I took all of the kids to lunch with my mom and her good friends and he did excellent. So now I think we can start making trips to out to eat now :)

     After all of theses kiddos are adopted I will give you their story. Since I don't have biological children I can't give you a birth story so I will give you an adoption story :)  

Also the first pic is Nicholas, then of course Ady and then Cameron

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Emma Grace


  Today I introduce you to Emma Grace. Oh my, my Emma Grace! How I could say so much about her. She is the cutest, tiniest little girl you may have seen at 4 yrs. old. My 2 yr. old weighs more than her. She weighs in at 27 lbs. Such a cutie!

     I will start by saying this little girl even though she is not biologically my daughter could really pass as my biological daughter. Not in her looks but in her personality. She is so much like me. My mom really likes to remind me of that :) So much like me in good ways and in bad ways, lol :) My little peanut was brought into our lives when she was 12 hours old. Her biological mother left almost immediatly after she birthed her and never returned. So we were called by our local DHS and were so thrilled to have her in our family. She only weighed 4 lbs 12 oz. at birth. She was so tiny. She could wear doll clothing (and yes we put her in doll clothing :) ) Premie clothes were huge on her. I remember when we brought her home 4 days later that I creid because I was afraid. Afraid of what, I reallt don't know. Maybe because she was so small? Not really sure. It wasn't fear of not being able to care for her, I really think it was because she was so tiny.

     Our adventure with Emma has been a whirlwind. Many ups and downs with her. Many, many days of tears because of not knowing what I could do for her. She was born addicted to cocaine and has fetal alcohol syndrome. At the age of 2 she was so destructive to herself that I was extremely concerned  and had to take her to the doctor. She would bang her head off of objects or literally fall down right where she was at with so much force that it didn't matter what was in her way. So many times she had bruises all over her face because of her meltdowns. She really could not help it. Her mind was just overloaded. We had to take her to a specialist who told me that both sides of her brain did not funtion at the same time which causes her meltdowns (due to prenatal exposure to alcohol). I remember on one of those very bad days counting every 30 seconds a major, MAJOR meltdown. That is not an exageration at all. No words can express how serious these meltdowns were. They were not just a 2 year old meltdown, they were very serious! We were finally able to get her on some medication because the seriousness of her issues were very extreme. I am not one to medicate, but my husband and I both agree it is best. Although it does not completly take away her meltdowns or other issues it does help alot. I do hope one day that we can take her off the medication. I just feel so bad for her.

Emma is also such a sweet, sweet little girl who can melt your heart in an instant. Her laugh is so contagious. And her smile goes on forever. She is very effectionate and so lovable. Our days with her are always unknown. We have no idea what the day will bring with Emma. But one thing is for sure, I know that I will continue to love her through every struggle each and every day. Even though we don't know her mood from one minute to the next I know we will always love her. She is such a blessing. I

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

This is a pic of Arianna

Arianna Felicia Renee

     Today I present to you my beautiful daughter Arianna. Arianna is such a blessing to us. She is so gentle and sweet. We have had Arianna since she was 5 weeks old. Oh my when we got her I feel completly in love with her. I held her constantly only putting her down when I had to. She was a fabulous baby. So easy going, hardly cried and was always (and still is) full of laughter. She is a smart little princess too. She said "I love you" to my dad and mother in law when she was four months old. These were her first words. Unbelieveable I know, but it truly happened, I was there :)

     During our time of fostering her she left to go live with an aunt in Kentucky when she was 5 months old. I was devastated. I knew she belonged in our home, I just knew. After she left I cried out to God daily. I said to him if she is to be ours please bring her back to us. A month after she was gone I saw her case worker in the store and I asked her how Arianna was doing. She just said, well um, not the best at this time". But she didn't explain the situation. During the second month that she was gone, things must have gotten worse. I got a call at my workplace ( I was still working at the time) on Novemeber 22 from her adoption worker and she asked me if we wanted Arianna back. Her aunt got into trouble and they removed her form the aunt. I cried, I was breathless and of course I said yes. Mark was away hunting at the time so I couldn't ask him so I made the decision myself. I knew Mark would be ecstatic. We had to wait until that Firday to pick her up. In the meantime Mark was back form hunting. We went to the store to buy a christams dress for our daughter Emma. When we choose the dress for her, I picked two. My husband said why do we need two dresses ( I haden't told him yet of Arianna's return) and I smiled a huge smile and said we need one for Arianna. He looked at me like I was nuts. I said yes we need two one for Emma and one for Arianna. I said, " Arianna is coming home on Friday to be with us forever. Oh my gosh was my husband so thrilled.

     Arianna is a miracle. She is such a precious little girl. Her big brown eyes just melt my heart. She is so helpful to me with the other kids. She is a little mommy. I knew God placed her in our home forever. I am not sure why we went through what we did, but that doesn't matter now that she is ours forever.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


     I said that I would be posting about my kiddos in these next several posts. Today I am not going to be writing about my next precious blessing from God. I am waiting for my mind to clear. I want that post to be just right. I do not feel that today I can write it well. The reason being is that I have had a huge amount of stress these past few days.  We have had alot of things come up so quickly and I am trying to sort everything all out. My mind is foggy and I don't really think I would be able to write a good post about my next little guy. I am hurt, sad, angry, shocked and who knows what else. I have got word that the adoption worker for my little Cameron is requesting that he be placed with his grandma. You see, We have had since birth. We picked him up from the hospital. He is now 19 months old almost 20 months and they want to move him now. Why now. We are in the adoption process for this little man. My heart is torn, it is crashing, shattering, riping out of my chest. Oh my lord help me get through this. This is tough. Very tough. But regardless I will keep fighting until I can't fight anymore.  I pray that tomorrow will be a better day!!!!!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Chosen Healer

In my next several posts I will be introducing my precious blessings. Today we will begin with Corey.

     I labeled this post Chosen Healer because Corey means Chosen and his middle name means Healer. We thought this would be a great name for him. We chose this name because we beleive God chose him to be our precious gift and he chose us to be Corey's mommy and daddy. We chose Healer because we believe that God healed Corey of many harsh and brutal things from his past.
     Corey is a very affectionate and sweet little man. He is 5 1/2 years old. Our little Corey loves babies. He loves to hold them, gently touch their sweet little faces and just stare at them and smile at them. He loves to hold them and play endlessly with them. As a mom this makes me smile from ear to ear. I know that when my Corey is a grown man and perhaps a father, his gentle disposition will be a great character trait to his children. Corey has a very strong bond with Nicholas who has down syndrome (more on when it is his post day :) ) Corey attached to him right away. I am not sure if he felt or knew that he was just a little different. He always is asking Nick if he is o.k. or tickling him to make him laugh. He enjoys bringing Nicholas toys to play with and most of all his most joyous time of the day is when he gets to get him out of his crib in the morning. Corey gets this sparkle in his eye most every morning because he just can't wait to get his little hands on Nicholas. I never put this responsibilty on Corey he just chose to do it on his own, and I let him because it brings joy on his sweet and handsome face.
      But one would never know the trauma he went through in his first year of life. I am not even sure of everything he went through, I can only specualate (and I think I might be quite accurate) of the trauma this little man went through. This cute little blessing came to us when he was one year and two weeks old. I must say it took us a couple of weeks to bond with him but that was soon to be the end of that hurdle when we saw the joy that he brought to us and our family. We were never told of some of the things that he went through and I later read after parental rights were terminated and we got all of the records of his case. What I was about to read that day was horrifying and I will spare most of the details but one can speculate like I did what acctually may have went on. This precious little guy was being thrown form home to home and at times with complete strangers while his birth mom did whatever she did. Some times he was being sold for drugs. This is just so disturbing to me to not know everything my little man went through. Of course maybe I really don't want to know. But what I do know is that my precious blessing is safe with us and I will lay my life down for him to make sure that he will always be safe in this home.
     I am just so thankful for my precious son. He is so gentle and caring. I know that God kept him safe while he was being thrown to wolves. I know God has a perfect path set before Corey and I just thank God that his life was spared. I know Corey will be a great Man of God someday and I know that he will make a honorable husband to that one special lady God has chosen for him. Thank you Lord for chosing Mark and I to be his earthly parents.

My Prayer:

Dear Father,
I pray that your precious son Corey will grow up to be an honorable Man of God. I pray for wisdom that you show us how to mold him and guide him to walk with you every day of his life. Show me how to gently correct him where correction is needed. Show me the right words to speak to him now and when he is a teenager. Lord my hearts cry is that I do nat fail as a mom and that I guide him into your sweet presense and that he chooses for himself to fight the good fight of faith. In Jesus name Amen.