This is a pic of Arianna

Arianna Felicia Renee

     Today I present to you my beautiful daughter Arianna. Arianna is such a blessing to us. She is so gentle and sweet. We have had Arianna since she was 5 weeks old. Oh my when we got her I feel completly in love with her. I held her constantly only putting her down when I had to. She was a fabulous baby. So easy going, hardly cried and was always (and still is) full of laughter. She is a smart little princess too. She said "I love you" to my dad and mother in law when she was four months old. These were her first words. Unbelieveable I know, but it truly happened, I was there :)

     During our time of fostering her she left to go live with an aunt in Kentucky when she was 5 months old. I was devastated. I knew she belonged in our home, I just knew. After she left I cried out to God daily. I said to him if she is to be ours please bring her back to us. A month after she was gone I saw her case worker in the store and I asked her how Arianna was doing. She just said, well um, not the best at this time". But she didn't explain the situation. During the second month that she was gone, things must have gotten worse. I got a call at my workplace ( I was still working at the time) on Novemeber 22 from her adoption worker and she asked me if we wanted Arianna back. Her aunt got into trouble and they removed her form the aunt. I cried, I was breathless and of course I said yes. Mark was away hunting at the time so I couldn't ask him so I made the decision myself. I knew Mark would be ecstatic. We had to wait until that Firday to pick her up. In the meantime Mark was back form hunting. We went to the store to buy a christams dress for our daughter Emma. When we choose the dress for her, I picked two. My husband said why do we need two dresses ( I haden't told him yet of Arianna's return) and I smiled a huge smile and said we need one for Arianna. He looked at me like I was nuts. I said yes we need two one for Emma and one for Arianna. I said, " Arianna is coming home on Friday to be with us forever. Oh my gosh was my husband so thrilled.

     Arianna is a miracle. She is such a precious little girl. Her big brown eyes just melt my heart. She is so helpful to me with the other kids. She is a little mommy. I knew God placed her in our home forever. I am not sure why we went through what we did, but that doesn't matter now that she is ours forever.

Waiting....

     I said that I would be posting about my kiddos in these next several posts. Today I am not going to be writing about my next precious blessing from God. I am waiting for my mind to clear. I want that post to be just right. I do not feel that today I can write it well. The reason being is that I have had a huge amount of stress these past few days.  We have had alot of things come up so quickly and I am trying to sort everything all out. My mind is foggy and I don't really think I would be able to write a good post about my next little guy. I am hurt, sad, angry, shocked and who knows what else. I have got word that the adoption worker for my little Cameron is requesting that he be placed with his grandma. You see, We have had since birth. We picked him up from the hospital. He is now 19 months old almost 20 months and they want to move him now. Why now. We are in the adoption process for this little man. My heart is torn, it is crashing, shattering, riping out of my chest. Oh my lord help me get through this. This is tough. Very tough. But regardless I will keep fighting until I can't fight anymore.  I pray that tomorrow will be a better day!!!!!

Chosen Healer

In my next several posts I will be introducing my precious blessings. Today we will begin with Corey.

     I labeled this post Chosen Healer because Corey means Chosen and his middle name means Healer. We thought this would be a great name for him. We chose this name because we beleive God chose him to be our precious gift and he chose us to be Corey's mommy and daddy. We chose Healer because we believe that God healed Corey of many harsh and brutal things from his past.
     Corey is a very affectionate and sweet little man. He is 5 1/2 years old. Our little Corey loves babies. He loves to hold them, gently touch their sweet little faces and just stare at them and smile at them. He loves to hold them and play endlessly with them. As a mom this makes me smile from ear to ear. I know that when my Corey is a grown man and perhaps a father, his gentle disposition will be a great character trait to his children. Corey has a very strong bond with Nicholas who has down syndrome (more on when it is his post day :) ) Corey attached to him right away. I am not sure if he felt or knew that he was just a little different. He always is asking Nick if he is o.k. or tickling him to make him laugh. He enjoys bringing Nicholas toys to play with and most of all his most joyous time of the day is when he gets to get him out of his crib in the morning. Corey gets this sparkle in his eye most every morning because he just can't wait to get his little hands on Nicholas. I never put this responsibilty on Corey he just chose to do it on his own, and I let him because it brings joy on his sweet and handsome face.
      But one would never know the trauma he went through in his first year of life. I am not even sure of everything he went through, I can only specualate (and I think I might be quite accurate) of the trauma this little man went through. This cute little blessing came to us when he was one year and two weeks old. I must say it took us a couple of weeks to bond with him but that was soon to be the end of that hurdle when we saw the joy that he brought to us and our family. We were never told of some of the things that he went through and I later read after parental rights were terminated and we got all of the records of his case. What I was about to read that day was horrifying and I will spare most of the details but one can speculate like I did what acctually may have went on. This precious little guy was being thrown form home to home and at times with complete strangers while his birth mom did whatever she did. Some times he was being sold for drugs. This is just so disturbing to me to not know everything my little man went through. Of course maybe I really don't want to know. But what I do know is that my precious blessing is safe with us and I will lay my life down for him to make sure that he will always be safe in this home.
     I am just so thankful for my precious son. He is so gentle and caring. I know that God kept him safe while he was being thrown to wolves. I know God has a perfect path set before Corey and I just thank God that his life was spared. I know Corey will be a great Man of God someday and I know that he will make a honorable husband to that one special lady God has chosen for him. Thank you Lord for chosing Mark and I to be his earthly parents.

My Prayer:

Dear Father,
I pray that your precious son Corey will grow up to be an honorable Man of God. I pray for wisdom that you show us how to mold him and guide him to walk with you every day of his life. Show me how to gently correct him where correction is needed. Show me the right words to speak to him now and when he is a teenager. Lord my hearts cry is that I do nat fail as a mom and that I guide him into your sweet presense and that he chooses for himself to fight the good fight of faith. In Jesus name Amen.